hands
Holding Grandma Marge’s Hand

Sorry, I fell off the blogging scene again for a bit. Things have been difficult. My Grandma Marge was on Hospice for a little over a week and then she passed away on Wednesday, March 1st, 2017. I also came down with walking Pneumonia the day before she died. Because I came down with walking pneumonia, I had to do a lot of grieving alone. My grandmother was a believer, and so I did not “grieve as those with no hope” (1 Thess. 4:13-18). But, I still did grieve. And I am sure I will again at times like I do for others I have lost before. Going to visit my grandma in the hospital where she was in hospice was difficult. Mostly because I felt helpless. What is there to do for someone who is dying? I eventually learned that the best thing you could do was be there. Grandma Marge was surrounded every day during her last days. Between the times I was with her in hospice and her memorial service I attended despite my walking pneumonia I realized that I wanted to leave a legacy like her. I want to be known as someone who made it through some difficult things but, in the end, instead of becoming bitter, poured out love on others. It is when you really love God that you can really love others. When you truly love others, you will never face life alone; not even your last moments.

One of her days in hospice, she had a “good” day. She knew who I was and we got to sing some hymns together. (with the help of Reba McEntire’s newest CD you can purchase here.) But before we started singing, she actually asked me about work. She asked me if I wanted her to talk to my boss. I kept telling her no and that I would handle it. I kept telling her not to worry about it. She would not let it go. This was typical of grandma. She kept asking, “what are you going to do? Are you sure you don’t want my help?” I kept telling her I wasn’t sure what I was going to do but that it was going to be ok and for her not to worry about it. ” I don’t know was not a sufficient response for her. So eventually I came up with the following response, ” Grandma, you know what I will do? I will work at my job like I am working for God, doing the best I can. If my best is not sufficient for my bosses than that is not where God wants me to be anymore. If that is true, he will open up another job for me. So, I will work hard, apply for a different job and if God wants me to stay; then I will stay. If he moves me to a different job; then I will go.” That seemed to be a sufficient answer because then she smiled, I kissed her forehead, and we went back to talking and eventually started singing together.

I will work hard, I will make it through my difficulties with strength, stubbornness, and fortitude and I will love and be loved.