Yesterday by 7:30 my body was rendered useless. My aunt was an angel and wrapped me up in an electric blanket, that actually provided enough relief that I only woke up twice during the night from pain. Grateful for bits of relief. Before my body was rendered useless a few things happened.
First, I was contacted back by both places where I had a possibility of employment. One ended up telling me, they wanted someone with more experience in the corporate sector. I understood but was still discouraged. They try to make you feel better by telling you they will hold on to your resume for “future openings.” I have to tell you, that doesn’t ease the pang of rejection much. The other position was for a non-profit, but the pay being offered is less than what I am making now and it is in a city I don’t really want to go to unless the opportunity being offered is the opportunity of a lifetime. Being that I rejected that one, I was surprised at the discouragement that crept in then.
I have never been very good at pushing through discouragement. But, this time, I got over it rather quickly. I know that my current situation is not ideal but I know that God is working through it. For example, I have a great small group with people that love me and love each other in a way that blows me out of the water. I haven’t had that for at least a year and a half prior to moving back to home; and I searched desperately. One of the women from my small group is facing such a difficult time right now because her precious son is facing another medical issue. This young teenager has faced medical issues that would discourage any adult. Yet, him and his mother fight through it all with a strength I will never comprehend. When I got discouraged about my job situation and search I just thought of them, prayed for them and got over myself real quick.
Second, I got an invite to attend an alumni night at the first college I ever attended. I have to tell you, it was God’s timing because I was planning to take off the week earlier from work. What I was planning to do that week and while I was away was not only against my better judgment but against a fundamental aspect of my faith. Even though I know that what I was planning to do was wrong on so many levels I still tried to justify it in my head. Thankfully, between a conversation I had with my sister in law this weekend, and this alumni event occurring the following week I am not going through with my original plan.
Lastly, I DROVE A CAR!!! Seriously, I drove a car. I had my driving evaluation done by the adaptive driving school here. It turns out that I can drive a care without any adaptive equipment. So, I was terrified, as I have never been behind the wheel of a car, I have even been terrified to start a car when people have asked me to. When the instructor told me I was switching to the driver’s seat I looked at him like he had 10 heads (maybe more), slowly slipped out and prayed to God I wouldn’t kill anyone as I drove. I think I will be praying that prayer as long as I drive. I drove both with and without hand controls. The instructor decided I had enough muscle control, strength and reaction time to drive without hand controls. This scares me, however, it wouldn’t be the first time I have doubted my own abilities.